Here’s my slice of life today in a poem.We are in the midst of our poetry unit and I’ve been writing poetry with my students. This poem I wrote with my students when we were learning about personification. I’ve always wanted to live next to the ocean. 🙂
* I made a small revision to the poem by changing the “it” to “she”. I would imagine the ocean to be a strong woman! 🙂
The Ocean
The ocean swaggers into the shore.
In and out.
In and out.
She tiptoes on tiny feet and freshly built sand castles.
She runs over shattered seashells and slimy seaweed.
In and out.
In and out.
She sprints back home and doesn’t look back.
For more slices, go to two writing teachers!
This is so lovely…nice to meet you..ELiza Keating
Your word choice was incredible! BTW, have you ever read Atlantic by G. Brian Karas? If not, check it out for personification.
Thanks! I haven’t checked out that poem. I will do! Thanks for recommending it.
You really did a nice job catching the waves of the ocean–the personification was terrific. Loved how it swaggered into shore…
Thanks! 🙂
The verbs are great-swaggers & sprints-suits the ocean wave so well. Repetition is nice too. I bet your students had fun doing!
Jee Young,
You go girl! This poem kicks butt. I like the repetition and the alliteration. I agree with Deb and Elsie that your word choice is stunning.
Glad to see you are still writing,
Erin
You’ve really captured the “personality” of the ocean.
How wonderful that you create poems with your students. I think it is so powerful to write interactively with kids. The last line is my favorite about the waves not looking back.
I love the tiptoeing on tiny feet and sand castles. Once again, it reminds me to slow down and really, really notice the ordinary which makes it so special. Great personification–an idea for me!